What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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