I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize