Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
