My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
