real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
