every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
