Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Randomize
