everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
