She is in my trunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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