it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
