yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
