I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
