dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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