I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
