What did we do last night that was yellow?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We need a shit load of segways right now
He? As in you personified your dick?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
