i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
