now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
