omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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