Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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