What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
