Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
