Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
