Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
