That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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