A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
