This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
