i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
