Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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