You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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