I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
