If i come over, it means nothing
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
