I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
