The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
