I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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