Porn is love you can see.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
