just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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