normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found puke in my bra..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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