I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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