I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I didn't notice because vodka
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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