if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The beer is more important than you right now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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