After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize