i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
