I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
