I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
