Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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