so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
