So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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