I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize