There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
