I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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