i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
