You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
