do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
