i think i have herpe
just one?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
