if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
