My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
