Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i wish my penis had a tongue
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Two words: nipple clamps
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