I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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