Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize